This Week in History and What you Should be Wearing

by Maria 

Unorthodox sources of sartorial inspiration tend to be the best sources. Cashmere trousers have everything to do with John Adams. Find out why.

Tuesday, November 25

The Hollywood Ten were blacklisted today in 1947 for refusing to comply with questioning by the House Un-American Activity Committee for alleged communist leanings. This calls for some red on red, with a little envelope bag to hide your secrets. Look suspicious. Or don’t, if you’re engaging in pre-Thanksgiving air travel. Or do.

Wednesday, November 26

Today we’re cultivating a distinct usurper vibe. Following a military victory in 1476, Vlad the Impaler forcefully takes his rightful place as ruler of Wallachia for the third and final time as well as the the inspiration of centuries of sexy Vampire lit for centuries to follow. 524 years later George W. Bush is finally confirmed as the future 43rd President of the United States despite losing the popular vote. Channel Olivia Pope stealing that election in a classic white blouse and luxurious robe coat. If your jewelry and boots don’t strike fear into the hearts of your enemies then please reconsider your choices. Your darkest jeans skinny and red lips are optional but highly recommended.

Thursday, November 27

Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans! In 176 Emperor Marcus Aurelius appoints his son Joaquin Phoenix as supreme commander of all Roman Legions. In more heartwarming Roman news, Emperor Hadrian’s future boyfriend Antinous calls today his birthday. Timehop to 1924, and we have our first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. Kill two birds with one slip-dress that evokes equal parts flapper and empress. 1971 saw the Soviets take a substantial lead in the Cold War space race as their Mars 2 descent module became the first man-made object to (crash) land on the surface of the planet. Fur-lined bomber jacket time. Wear sensible low-heeled slippers to family dinner so your grandmother can compliment something and forget about asking why you haven’t brought a nice boy home to meet her. If you’re doing friendsgiving I don’t know what to tell you.

Friday, November 28

For your big night out, pay homage to the first women to vote in a national election in 1893 New Zealand with a mini mini mini skirt, and a slinky camisole to cling to your feminine figure. No bras allowed. And the anniversary of the 1943 Tehran Conference calls for your best leather blazer to outdo FDR’s pinstripes. This is Stalin we’re dealing with. 

Saturday, November 29

Writers of literature I didn’t read in high school Louisa May Alcott and C.S. Lewis share a birthday today. Pull your hair back into a slick and low Civil War-era center-parted bun and throw on a turtleneck in a saturated color just because. Break out an old friendship bracelet and make a mental note to put Little Women on your New Years resolution reading list. Wear tallish flat black boots because I spotted a few scenes of what I think was a Narnia movie playing in the kitchen of a Vietnamese restaurant last weekend and I think they’d fit the theme.

Sunday, November 30

The American Revolution ended with the signing of the Treaty of Paris in 1782. 90 years later, the first international football match ended with a goalless draw between English and Scottish national teams. Swaddle your hungover frame in that one jersey you borrowed from that one boy. Make sure it’s long enough to be seen under an artfully distressed gray sweatshirt. Hop on the all knit everything bandwagon via your pants. There’s nothing that screams American independence here but can we really be bothered? Hide behind round shades. Avoid Union Jacks. You survived the week with flying colors. Get yourself some pancakes, comrade.