A Very Special Drunk Tuesday: 2014 in Review

As year 2014 draws to a close, we've recapped ours for you. 

Cori 

Favorite place visited in 2014? 

A really beautiful graveyard in Charleston, South Carolina. I realize how creepy that sounds.

Favorite purchase? 

One Teaspoon overalls. I'm so happy these are cool again.

Best thing you read? 

On The Road by Jack Kerouac

Best thing you drank? 

Spiked apple cider made by one of my dear roommates.

Describe 2014 in only three words: 

Too. Many. Selfies.

Danielle 

Favorite place visited in 2014? 

Lisbon, Portugal

Favorite purchase? 

Plane tickets for the boyfriend to visit me in California (okay technically I exchanged air miles for these and not actual money). Also, these sushi socks.

Best thing you read? 

You Get So Alone at Times by Charles Bukowski, always. (He's my problematic fave.)

Best thing you drank? 

The giant 21-year old bottle of wine I got as a birthday gift from my dad last August.

Describe 2014 in only three words: 

Ch-ch-changes (Can we count that as three?)

Maria 

Favorite place visited in 2014? 

Snowy mountainy northern New Mexico 

Favorite purchase? 

A plane ticket to Portland, OR to watch FC Bayern Munich play this summer and these boots from Zara, probably. 

Best thing you read? 

Confederates in the Attic was endlessly fascinating. And the How to be Parisian book. 

Best thing you drank? 

Happy hour pencil skirt margaritas after many long summer days as an unpaid museum intern. 

Describe 2014 in only three words: 

Goodbye dry spell

Music Monday: 10th Anniversary Hits - 2005/2015

by Danielle

Highlights from 2005's Billboard Top 100 to help you ring in the New Year.

A Perpetual Catholic School Girl's Take on New Years Resolutions

by Maria 

Has it already been a year since we vowed to implement a new all-natural skincare routine, to have the most organized Spring semester yet, to start writing that novella? Let's spare ourselves some disappointment in 2015 and take a page out of the Catholic guide to aiming low. I've been attending Catholic schools since 1998. Primary schools, single-sex high schools, two Catholic Universities, even a brief flirtation with Jesuits. Between Louisville and New Orleans, I've only lived in overwhelmingly Catholic communities that have provided me with countless unique lessons in pragmatism. Always befriend the nuns. A little leg stubble keeps the navy blue crew socks over the ankle and insures avoidance of wardrobe violations. Give up nail-biting for lent when you've never so much as gnawed off a hangnail. I have a 22 year degree in narrowly sidestepping Catholic guilt and feel the call to evangelize.

Set yourself up for success in the New Year. Resolve to drink more coffee. To make more thirsty instagram comments. To buy more books that you don't intend to read but look fabulous on your end table. Let's each channel our inner Catholic School Girl Forty Days Before Easter Sunday and pick something doable this time. You're welcome.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a #TBT

Two birds, one stone 

Five Outfits for Five Christmases

by Maria 

1. This Christmas, it's just you, Mom, and Dad. Everyone else seemed to have their own plans, or perhaps it's always been just the three of you. You'll probably end up at midnight mass or one of those nativity pageants with live camels and donkeys at your local megachurch depending on your religious affiliations. Cords are generally foolproof. Heeled boots are equal parts fancy and conducive to frequent sitting and standing if it's mass and walking form the stadium-sized parking lot if its the pageant. A fur headband is just a cossack hat gateway drug but Mom might side-eye this one a little less. Military outerwear because you'd have rather gone to see The Nutcracker but were overruled. 

2. You're attending the same extended family Christmas in small town hell that you've rejected since your terrible twos. Prepare for lectures from Grandma about the True Meaning of Christmas poorly planned gift exchange games. Wear a blazer to remind everyone you're an adult but flats and distressed jeans because you're still fun and cool. Yes, you have to listen to your racist uncle's annual tirade but there are babies and probably a dog or two you get to play with as a consolation prize for maintaining the peace. 

3. A new significant other invited you to spend the holidays with his family and you are most certainly neither Christian nor Not Religious But Spiritual person that still buys a tree and bakes sugar cookies each year. I wouldn't overdo it with an theme-party quality ugly Christmas sweater or gratuitous red and green. I'd keep it conservative with a crew-neck sweater in a muted jewel tone and a skirt that goes at least to the knee. Low heels. Peacoat. A sense of humor. I believe in you. 

4. For whatever reason, you either couldn't or chose not to return to your hometown for the holidays. Instead, you and the few friends who have also stayed behind put on a celebration of your own. Alternatively known as Friendsgiving's edgier sister, or the guilt-trip Christmas. This is where you take the sartorial risks. Clashing colors. Crop tops. Lucky, lucky you. 

5. You're a newly settled, well-established, bonafide adult and deeply regret your decision to host family Christmas for the first time. A brand new apron, obviously. Sleeveless dress because you're going to get hot with all of that cooking and running about. A cardigan for when you can sit for long enough to cool down and remember it is indeed December. 

However you do or don't celebrate, we hope you do it happily and safely. 

A Simple Winter Skincare Routine + How To Wear No Makeup

by Maria 

Admittedly, I've been blessed with fairly clear skin. I deal with a few minor blemishes and breakouts every few weeks, but have never dealt with any severe skin problems. I have combination skin that dries out quite a bit in the winter, and have recently fallen in to a pretty simple, effective routine. 

The only products I use daily are witch hazel (a natural astringent, any brand will do, buy literally the cheapest one from the nearest drugstore), Egyptian Magic as an all-purpose sort of moisturizer, and original Noxzema Cream Cleanser. 

I cleanse with the witch hazel (and a cotton ball/pad) and moisturize with the Egyptian Magic when I wake up and before I go to bed. I usually bathe in the middle of the day (after class and before whatever I'm doing that evening) and cleanse with the Noxzema. I'll moisturize again after bathing. 

This certainly works for me as well as anything could, but nothing will prevent occasional breakouts if you're prone to them. That's nature. That's life. And I know it's difficult, but when you're having the Worst Skin Day Ever I'd absolutely recommend simply sticking to this routine (or whatever has proven effective for you) and forgo makeup altogether. I know. I know. You'll feel uncomfortable and self-conscious and a whole lot of other negative emotions the first few times you do it but you won't regret it when your skin clears up in half the time. 

I'd also recommend that you dONT TOUCH YOUR FACE throughout the ordeal and draw as much attention to your eyebrows as possible. Mascara is fine too. Keep your outfit fashionable but sleek and simple. Wear a cozy sweater you absolutely love. It'll all be over soon. No one will notice.

What Your Favorite Mid-2000s Celebrity Fragrance Says About You

by Maria

Let's engage in a bit of short-term nostalgia and give the most recent past decade credit for being the uncontested golden age of celebrity fragrance. Did you own one? A few? Sniff a sample at the mall and beg your mom to buy it for you? Envy a friend whose mom obliged? Read on. 

Glow by JLo 
You retired this light floral scent for something like Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue in your late teens and Balenciaga Florabotanica as you entered young adulthood. You abandoned your midwestern roots for the city years ago and have gone to great lengths to hide them. Friends would describe you as effortlessly cool because you double-majored in trying really hard to appear as though you're not trying at all and finance. Your persona is calculated but your taste is impeccable.

Curious by Britney Spears 
Equal parts power-bitch and absent-minded intellectual, you subsist on Thai takeout but can make a nice black coffee. You studied abroad in Spain and spend your Saturday nights combing social media to destroy any evidence that suggests you ever wore a sequinned slip-dress in Ibiza. We can find you on LinkedIn.

Fantasy by Britney Spears 
You, however, had neon lime green bedroom walls as a preteen well into young-adulthood. Perhaps you still do. It matches the pink and green Republican elephant bumper sticker which complements your fluorescent Nike frees.

With Love by Hilary Duff 
As a self-proclaimed yoga-mom in training, you don't look miserable as you choke down green juice and splurge on a small glass of white wine every third saturday. You're a connoisseur of floral rompers and DIY tea-lights. You've just broken 1k Instagram followers. But god, you're so likable.

L L.A.M.B. by Gwen Stefani 
Your pop-punk phase at the end of the last decade slowly evolved into something more mature over the course of your years at a medium-sized Southern liberal arts university. You've traded your dramatic side-bangs for a sleeker violet-lips-leather-jacket brand of edge and have since graduated to TokyoMilk Femme Fatale.

Heiress by Paris Hilton 
You always seem to find yourself on the wrong side of fad history. You probably owned a Von Dutch trucker hat and I respect the hell out of you for it.

Music Monday: Travel Playlist + Reading Material

by Maria

Your semesters have probably ended, and you might be traveling today like me. I compiled a little playlist mostly for my own benefit but you're free to listen too. In addition, look for some recommended reading material under the cut.




(And I've started listening to Serial like everyone else and you probably have too)

This Day in History and What You Should Wear Out Tonight

by Maria

2000
The Texas 7 escape from prison and go on a high-profile crime spree. This calls for a simple orange blouse for obvious reasons. Western ankle booties for equal parts rustic mobility and pizzaz. Let  your y2k alter-ego run amok with bell bottoms and the Louis Vuitton monogrammed clutch you know you still have in some dark corner of your closet.

1972
On this day the last humans-- Eugene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt of NASA's Apollo 17 program-- set foot on the moon. Cultivate a subtle astronaut vibe. Now would be a good time to break out those silver pants you just knew you needed at the time but haven't worn since. White turtleneck. Moonstone. Red white and blue color scheme. Failure is not an option.

1545
The Council of Trent marks the beginning of the Catholic counterreformation. If you're anything like me, you know you can take the girl out of Catholic school but can't take the Catholic school out of the girl. Own it. Interpret it. But throw a conservative priestly robe coat over the ensemble for balance. Take offense to accusations of decadence as you clutch your statement necklace. Also, heeled loafers.

P.S. if you'd like to make me a happy woman this holiday season would you please track down that Alexander Wang polo-sweater contraption featured in the last outfit (which seems to be sold out everywhere) and gift it my way xo

New Mexico Wardrobe Concept

by Maria

As soon as I finish the exam that brings my penultimate fall semester to a close, I'm making a beeline Southwest. This is my first proper winter vacation so I'm certainly not making informed decisions as I pack and shop.  Instead, I'm relying on my daydreamy visions of that cozy mountain aesthetic as exemplified by:

Wraps, ponchos, fluffy blanket scarves

xxxx

Turtlenecks

xxxxx

Parkas, tall boots, white sneakers

xxxx

Long cardigans, cozy socks

xx

Denim & Corduroy

xxxxxx

Cossack Hats, naturally 

This Guy 

Edward S. Curtis, An Apsaroke man on horseback on snow-covered ground, probably in the Pryor Mountains, Montana, 1908

How To: Not Be Annoying via Social Media

by Cori

If you've been living under a rock for the past few centuries, let me enlighten you on what the new normal is: social media. It's the 21st century; we no longer use landlines, dial-ups, or snail mail (AN: I've actually just been told this is coming back because of its 'vintage' appeal). There are now a plethora of great ways to get in contact with one another, but with so much good comes some evil. Some of the messaging systems created are, for lack of a better word, annoying--and you don't want to be THAT person, do you? So I've compiled the top five worst messaging systems and broken them down for you so you can stop bothering your friends.

5. Twitter Direct Messaging:

While Twitter offers up some great things, their "direct message" system fails miserably. There is nothing more frustrating than receiving a message from someone called "TitsMcGee6969" telling me that it's time to lose that holiday weight and sign up for a gym membership. Your credibility falls with your name, however funny it may be, and you're going to create a lot of enemies.

Also, unrelated, but if Twitter is reading this, how can I get into direct contact with Leonardo DiCaprio? He's not reading any of my tweets or direct messages and that's just not working for me.

4. Audio Messages:

I have one question for you: Why? What could possibly possess you to think I want to hear your audio message telling me you're on the way to class? Most of the time, ironically, the messages aren't even audible. What's that? Sorry, I can't hear your over the motorcycle roaring next to you.

Anyways, most of the time the audio messages are sent from your butt. Rude.

3. Groupme:

Group messages: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I used to think it was cool to have group messages. It made me feel like I had friends, even though I was just texting my parents. I soon realized that group chats were the bane of my existence. There are few trivial things more frustrating than waking up or leaving class with seventy-five texts from one group. There isn't a chance in hell I'm going to read that.

Maybe just notify me whenever you're going to eat, and then I'll answer you.

2. Instagram Commenting: 

Plain and simple: if you need me, don't comment on my Instagram saying "text me" because I will not do that.

1. Snapchat:

For the love of all that is good, do not start a conversation via Snapchat. Sure, it's okay to send a few private photos and say things like "you look like a small boy in that last snap" (true story) but don't go overboard. For example, "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" is not acceptable. Just don't do it.


YOU'RE WELCOME, and happy messaging! 

Drunk Tuesday: The Return of French Toast Crunch

source

In case you missed the most important story of the week 

FRENCH 

TOAST 

CRUNCH 

IS 

BACK 

In a press release on December 5th, General Mills announced that the beloved 1990s cereal French Toast Crunch has already begun making its long awaited return. The cereal was introduced to the market in 1995 and tragically discontinued in 2006. The product is already available in select stores, and will be widely distributed come January. 

If you're not already planning a French Toast Crunch Brunch™ then you probably ought to reevaluate your priorities. To get you started, we've provided you with a pear and sparkling cider cocktail recipe via Martha Stewart: 

source

• 2 cups pear nectar, chilled
• 2 cups sparkling apple cider, chilled
• 2 cups seltzer, chilled
• 4 ounces (1/2 cup) bourbon whiskey, such as Knob Creek
• 1 Bosc pear, unpeeled, cored, and cut lengthwise into 8 wedges
• Stir together pear nectar, cider, seltzer, and whiskey in a pitcher. Divide pear wedges among glasses, and pour in cocktail. Serve immediately.

Happy Tuesday to all, and to all a good night. 

Step-By-Step Guide to the Finals Week Personal Day

by Maria 

Impending exams bring out the worst in even the best among us. I'd like to propose a 12-step alternative to self-flagellating in the library until the wee hours of the morning. No yoga pants or crying allowed.

1. Strike that delicate balance between early rising and sleeping in by waking at a perfect 8:30am.

2. I'm no morning showerer so I'd just wash and moisturize my face here but you do what you want.

3. Braid your hair if long enough, or hold back with a headband otherwise for maximum tension headache avoidance.

4. Change out of your pajamas. Put on clean pajamas.

via zosuen

How To: Top 5 Ways to Trick Yourself Out of an Existential Crisis

by Danielle

(For best results, try combining all five.)

1. Eat an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's. In the bath.

2. Order an alarming amount of sushi for dinner. Enough that the restaurant includes three sets of chopsticks. Ignore your dwindling back account. Ignore the judgemental look the delivery guy gives you when he realizes all this sushi is just for you.

3. Waste a couple hours browsing Asos. Free shipping + free returns = little-to-no guilt. (Even less guilt if you just add things to the 'Saved Items' page and never actually make a purchase.)

4. Light your favorite candles. Turn the lights off. Hide under three layers of blankets and bask in the good smells and near-darkness. Bonus points if you use those blankets to build a fort.

5. Binge-watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Resist the urge to compare your accomplishments to Rory's. She may be a teenager, but she's probably more together than you. After all, you're the one on the verge of an existential crisis, and she's the one who went to Yale (oops, spoilers).

Good luck.

Why Are You so Obsessed with Me?: An Open Letter to Karl Lagerfeld

By Maria 

I hate to be dramatic, but I have a bone to pick with yesterday's Chanel's Métier d'Art show in which Karl Lagerfeld premiered his undeniably stunning Pre-Fall '15 Salzburg collection. His designs drew inspiration from Austria's Empress Elisabeth, who was endearingly known by many as simply Sissi. You may remember her as played by Romy Schneider in the 1950s biopic trilogy, but if you need a refresher course, you've come to the right place. 

Our girl was born a Bavarian duchess before marrying into the Austrian royal family at age 16. Renowned for her beauty and personal style (and that hair), she quickly became the toast of mid-19th century Central Europe. However, Sissi was also the first Archetypal Trendy Sad Girl. The Lana del Rey of 1855, if you will. She even expressed her inner demons though sad girl poetry:

Years have gone and drawn away,

but they will never unite us two again.
Questioning at night I look at the stars,
none gave me back help or answer.
Soon I came near to you, soon again far away.
Are you already lingering on another star?

Begs to be put to a melancholy harp melody á la Video Games, no? In addition, she may or may not have had an illicit affair with a Hungarian count, and was STABBED TO DEATH by an assassin but played it so cool that no one realized it until she died hours later. 

So what's my issue with Lagerfeld? Not to toot my own horn here, but my dad has been telling me I resemble Empress Elisabeth for years. I've taken a whole lot of pride in that. Had a major Sissi moment last January, as a matter of fact. 

Stop stealing my thunder, Mr. Lagerfeld. Sissi was my thing. And this isn't your first offense. Remember your 2011 Paris Byzance show, which just happened to follow my 10th grade Byzantine phase? I thought I was Theodora reincarnated and you took that away from me.  

Have you been stalking me all this time? Would you stop designing collections that appropriate my otherwise obscure historical doppelgängers/lady obsessions without at least consulting me first? Who's next? Peggy O'Neal? Mata Hari?

And while I'm not sure how I feel about Delevingne's portrayal of the Empress, Pharrell as Franz Joseph is SO GOOD. It's all so good. Your collection is brilliant and I'm salty about it. Good day, sir.